Testimony part 3

VERSE 22b “So they got into a boat and set out.”

                This part of the story I call:  Can I be obedient to the king

                Ok, Jesus showed me He was good, and He asked me to allow Him into the boat-to also be in charge of the boat.  When He gets in that place of authority in your life, He will not let you just sit in the bliss of having your priorities straight.  He wants His disciples to follow because He wants you to grow so that you can serve Him.  He takes you on journey’s that will challenge your faith and in the end you will know Him more and trust Him more.  So my act of obedience was going to a Christian college called Taylor University.  Looking back I see that God needed to separate me from the world for a time so that I could grow in His goodness.

VERSE 23 “As they sailed, He fell asleep”

                This part of the story is called: Smooth sailing

                The sea must have been calm if Jesus could fall asleep.  My journey started with calm seas.  I was enjoying my new friends and classes.  I was learning a lot from Christian friends and having a great time growing in my Bible reading and prayer time.  I remember my beginnings at Taylor to be a time of renewal for my spirit and I was enjoying every minute of it.  My devotionals were at an all-time peak and I felt so blessed to be there at that time.  The seas were calm.

VERSE 23 “A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger”

                This part of the story is called:  Who said anything about a storm when Jesus is in the boat.

                Most of us think that once things are moving along well we can just maintain momentum.  After all, we were obedient enough to say OK to this journey so the rest should just take care of itself.  The thing about a squall is it comes out of nowhere.  One minute there are calm seas, the next minute you are in the middle of tornado-like winds that threaten your boat.  Once Jesus is in your boat it doesn’t mean smooth sailing and happy days until you go to heaven.  Your squall will come and mine came. 

                I had noticed for a while-several weeks a huge lump on the side of my neck.  I had not been feeling well, but in college you expect these things.  My roommate noticed the lump and insisted I go to the medical center to get it looked at, I balked so she walked me down there.  She left and I waited for the doctor.  The doctor called me to her examining room and I showed her the lump.  She examined it and her face changed, from kind indifference to true concern mixed with slight panic.  She had me lay back and continued to examine other parts of my body with the same look.  She sat me up and began to explain…the lump on my neck was hard and would not move.  Normally, a swollen gland can be shifted; this was a hard immovable mass.  The examination of the rest of my body revealed more of these masses, over 20.  She ordered blood work and wouldn’t be sure of anything until it came back, but she was thinking we were looking at lymphoma or leukemia.  Now this was about 20 years ago and the only thing I knew then was that these were some of the most deadly forms of cancer out there. 

                WHAT????  Are you kidding me?  A squall out of nowhere was about to swamp my boat.  So what did I do, I got a bucket and started bailing the water as quickly as possible.  I went over every scenario in my head.  Quit school?  Finish the semester?  Tell my friends?  Tell my family?  Keep it quiet; after all, the doctor said she couldn’t be sure?  Lose my mind?  Take a nap?  I told my parents and took a nap. 

                My parents were beside themselves and wanted to come get me immediately (I was 3 states away).  Internally, I was freaking out, going through the motions of class and social events, but somehow I couldn’t get the diagnosis of cancer out of my mind.  I started to go further and further within myself.  Was I supposed to die, was that God’s master plan?  When would I die?  How could I die?  Take another nap.

                Then I got the message from the medical center, my results were in, come down and bring a friend.  Bring a friend?  I hadn’t told anyone, but bringing a friend couldn’t mean good news.  So, the normal annoyed nurse turned into a kind, motherly-type when I told her my name.  She quickly, but gently ushered me into a room and the doctor came in and would not look me in the eyes.  She explained, this blood count was high…. this blood count was low and on and on until she finished with it looks like we are dealing with lymphoma.  She handed the sheet to me and there it was written in black and white.

                Bail, bail but as quick as I got a bucket of water out of my boat five more crashed in.  I couldn’t keep up; my spirit was going to sink.  Was I just going to go crazy?  I walked out of the health center with my little piece of paper not knowing what to do.  I called my parents-not easy.  I decided to finish the last month of classes, when faced with lymphoma what difference does a month make?  Classes?  Oh yes, I was normally an A student now I was struggling to pull C’s.  What could I do?  Just sink.  No matter how hard I tried to manage this storm, I was sinking.